Don't Hold Back
by supernaturalsammy67
Summary: E/O Challenge fic for the word: Raw. Fluff and mush. Grab a tissue, set season one. After 'Pilot'. Sorry im so late...there's two chapters to make it up to you. Different shots.
1. Hurt

**Okay my little gems, this waaaay late challenge fic is for the word raw, which I loved so I did a little extra because of my lateness**

**E/O challenge fic for the word: Raw. Double drabble.**

**Summary: An excuse for some Limp Sam and worried Dean, set early season one.**

**Warning: I'm in a teary mood...:) And i couldn't help but use two of the challenge words...you'll be seeing 'Keen' shortly.**

Don't Hold Back

"Sam..." Nervous.

A sniff was his only answer.

"Sammy?..." A stutter.

"Dean...just...not now okay, I..I can't..." Sam's face was pinched, his eye's too bright, too wet.

A stray tear streaked his cheek, his eye's fluttered shut. Then clenched.

"De-ean-n" Sam sobbed, his chest hitched, he hicupped Dean's name. "Jess..." A whisper. A plea...

His whole life in one. Single. Breath.

Dean clucthed Sam close, is hands splayed on Sam's neck, his back. Sam's head hid into his chest, his hand's making fists in Dean's shirt.

"I know Sammy. I'm sorry...I'm..." Dean didn't know what to say, he knew what that kind of emptiness and loss felt like.

Sam shuddered under his hand.

Sam made a low keen in the back of his throat, mumbling "Nonoono...no...no...not Jess..."

Dean just held him tighter, he'd never seen Sam so stripped of his defences, so vulnerable.

So raw.

Sam's head on Dean's neck now, he sniffed and raised red rimmed eye's.

"Tell me...this isn't r-real...it's a dream..." Sam begged. Those goddamn eye's pleaded. "Dean...?"

And Dean's heart broke all over again.

**End...well! that pretty much sum's up my christmas- by the way i'm writing.**

**Were English...were twats, I don't know what love is i'd say...**

**though that doesn't stop me wishing you lot the best of a new year! and I hope you all had a very good christmas!**

**Ah...New Year...one less year the bugger of a dad will live I see it. Good times!**

**Thanks for reading, there'll be another shortly :)**


	2. Christmas

**This here is another fic for Raw...you know the usual, I don't own em although wow...if I did- I'd probably turn to a ball of mush.**

**I hope they had a decent christmas anyway, and a bloody smashin' New Year- I know having them for another year in my life is bloody sweeter than a sugar figuire in a cake shop :)**

**Summary: Cos i'm wishing Jared and Jensen a merry christmas, thought I'd lighten the limp. :) christmas fluff.**

**E/O Challenge fic for the word :Raw**

**WARNING: they hug! and it's...sadly another double drabble (runs from the challenge rules)**

**Set one year after Dean's deal had ended- (Take it if you want for season four, or just that Dean never went to hell, no spoilers anyway)**

"Dean, where the hell have you been? It's after eleven!"

_You only went out for food..._

The motel door shut, the latch locked. Dean smiled.

"It's Christmas Sammy!"

Sam nodded. "Yeah, you've been gone hours man, what the heck took-"

A bright red bow appeared in Sam's face, under a neatly wrapped box.

"Wha-"

"Open it" Dean smiled.

Sam hesitated, took the present. Dimple's flashing.

"Great mind's think alike..." Sam reached under his bed and pulled out a green and blue wrapped rectangle with a little tag.

_To Dean, the best big brother a guy could ask for_

_Sam x_

"Thank's man!" Dean beamed.

"Well uhm...you said last year, you wanted a christmas and..." Sam faltered. "At least now I don't have to worry about you checkin' out on me...it's not our last christmas, that's a hell of a lot brighter"

Dean laughed. "No i'm not leavin' you bro, now c'mon open it"

In unison, ripping paper and tearing into their presents.

Sam stopped, looking at the picture frame before him.

Himself at seventeen, with their dad outside a shabby bar in West Texas holding an arm around each other. One of the first time's he'd gotten drunk with their dad.

In the glass he saw himself smile, the difference of how he looked then and now.

"How...where did you get this?" Sam's eye's teared.

"Dad's lock up...with a bunch of other stuff"

Sam left the photo on his bed and walked upto his brother and swept him in a fierce hug. Exhaled a deep sigh.

Dean patted Sam's back.

Dean finished the last layer of paper from the envelope and ripped it open.

He frowned, reading the envelope inside, and glancing at the two ticket stubs.

"What's this?"

"You said...once, you wanted to see the Grand Canyon. I don't want you to go through life...through this and not get to live at least one dream...so were going"

"Thank's Sammy...i'd like that" Dean nodded, squeezed Sam's shoulder.

"Now where's the vodka..."

Sam laughed.

**End, hope ya liked that ya sentimental nuts...well me being named nut queen :)**

**sorry it's a bit long I wanted that extra bit, and you know...I can't follow rules just like Sam and Dean can't be alone...**

**hhee xx**

**thanks for reading x**


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